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Given my debt situation and the fact that my wife and I will soon celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary, I found this article at Salon very timely.

For poorer and for poorer

For young couples trying to start a new life together, the dismal economy means more fighting, postponed weddings—and less sex.

…

For the young people who graduated from college and high school in the booming 1990s, the future seemed endless. A new economy was taking shape, jobs were plentiful, and terrorism was something that happened far, far away.

Now all that has changed.

Dismal Economy

Some might think it foolish, but my wife and I got married a week before I graduated from college. Neither of us had any money to speak of, and I had accumulated some fairly daunting debts. I did, however, have a decent-paying job lined up (teaching English in Japan, of course—talk about foolish!) and so we didn’t have to suffer too much. The months that passed between our wedding and when we started making money were difficult, but we seem to have survived.

At the time, though, I distinctly remembered thinking that I was a total idiot for staying in Japan during the Internet boom. It seemed like anyone who could even spell “Internet” was able to slap together a PowerPoint presentation about virtually anything and sell it to venture capitalists for lots of money. Meanwhile, I was pulling my hair out trying to think of ways to motivate bored teenagers to take an interest in a language that none of them cared about.

Then the bubble burst, and Internet ventures went belly up all over the place. (Many former dot-com employees actually started applying for the job I had—I was shocked!) At that point, I felt like a total genius. Not only had I managed to pay off most of a 20-year student loan in just a few years, but I had also managed to raise a family while doing it. Not bad for a young guy!

More Fighting

Like any couple, my wife and I fight sometimes. When I think about it now, most of our worst fights have usually been about money—although not directly. One example that comes to mind right away is our disagreements about vacations. My wife loves to travel, we both do, but I am often against the idea of taking a vacation because, having a lot of debt, I usually can’t afford it. On the other hand, I can sometimes be compulsive (and defensive!) about purchasing software, which I thrive on but my wife sees little or no value in. She’d rather have a vacation than a new application, no question about it.

Over the years, I have learned to restrain my software-purchasing habits and splurge on the occasional vacation (although my wife still pays for far more of our outings than I do). These things, combined with the fact that our economic situation has improved considerably over the past few years, have brought us to a point where we don’t fight quite as much as we used to; and when we do fight, it’s not as bad as it used to be.

Less Sex

With our second child due in November, I obviously can’t claim that there is no sex in our relationship. Still, I can’t say that earning more money has lead to an increase, either.

The biggest factor here, I think, is the constant presence of of our daughter rather than a lack of money. With her around all the time, it’s a wonder we were able to conceive another!

Children, Parents, and Prosperity

Although I have no doubt that it will be difficult to raise two kids on the money we make now, I’m glad we’ve decided to have kids earlier in life than many couples do. By the time our children start becoming independent, we will still be young enough to have a few decades of usefulness left before we retire.

This could be critically important, because current economic indicators suggest that both of our countries are not going to be able to provide for the retiring baby-boomers who are our parents. By having kids early in life, I think we will probably be able to avoid being “sandwiched” supporting the generation above us as well as the one below.

All of these things lead me to a very strongly felt conviction: Working for a living is no way to get ahead in life. If Bush’s tax cuts prove anything, it’s that the people who own things get all the breaks. The sooner I can move my family into that category, the better. I’m still working on paying off debts now, but that won’t last forever. (With some help from my wife, it might not last for the rest of this year!)

So, in response to Salon’s article, I have some advice for young couples who are thinking about getting hitched: Do it! The circumstances may not be ideal, but it could take a long time for things to get better. Take my word for it, struggling is not so bad if you have someone you love to share it with. I’m glad I do.