One of my Japanese coworkers recently returned from a two-month business trip overseas. Before he left, someone gave him a book as a farewell present. Nice gesture, right? Well, yes and no.

Japanese culture is rooted in a sense of mutual obligation, you see, so now this guy feels obligated to show how grateful he was to receive the book by telling the person who gave it to him how much he enjoyed it. The problem is that he has no intention of enjoying it—except perhaps vicariously.

The subject of this book, America’s foster-care system, is of no interest to my colleague. (Don’t ask me why someone thought a book about foster care would make a good going-away present, because I have absolutely no idea.) Also,the fact that the book is written in English makes my colleague even less inclined to read it. It’s not that his English isn’t good enough—on the contrary, he’s quite fluent—but simply that he’s a busy guy who doesn’t want to make time to read a book, in his second language, about a subject so completely divorced from his daily life. (Take my word for it, even among bilingual professionals, not a lot of people enjoy reading for pleasure in their second language. I rarely do.)

So what does he do? He gives the book to me, of course!

“Here, I thought you might be interested in this book,” he said. “Because you speak English natively, it would only take you a couple of days to finish it, right? Great. Enjoy! Oh, by the way, could you give me a basic outline of the content by Friday? Thanks!”

So here I am, holding a book in which I have probably less interest than he does—and probably as little time in which to actually read it. What a hassle!

You’re probably wondering why I would agree to do such a thing in the first place, right? Well, remember what I wrote about Japanese culture being rooted in mutual obligation? My obligations to this guy run pretty deep. He’s done a lot for me in the time that I’ve worked here; now he’s asking a favor of me in return. It would be rather boorish of me to say no, under the circumstances. After all, he’s even presented this book to me as yet another gift! Japanese people are clever like that.